#metoo was a hashtag used on social media this week in order to give an idea of how many people experience sexual assault and harassment. I was partially floundered by how many women were posting with this hashtag, and partially wondering whether I too should say #metoo.
On one hand my experiences seem so trivial, so minimal, so in the past. Yet, on the other hand it makes me sad to know that daily girls younger and older than me experience a spectrum of sexual harassment and assault I find it painful to think about. It's inappropriate, and in many cases, traumatizing. While my experiences haven't been traumatizing, they've still been. Even though they are in the very distant past and I don't identify myself by them, they still happened. I think the point of this hashtag is not to victimize ourselves as women, or try to get attention, but to point out how many people have experienced some form of sexual assault and harassment. To point out how prevalent this inappropriate behavior has become. I want to recognize that it's not just men who are capable of these sorts of actions, and I hope we can be understanding enough to empathize with anyone who has these experiences. Looking back now, I know it wasn't my fault. Being older and wiser my experiences have become less as I learn how to assess and avoid potentially negative situations. I think my point is, that as human beings we need to be respectful of one another, just as we need to take responsibility for our actions. No matter what gender you are, this holds true. So there you have it. #metoo. Thank you to all who have posted. I hear you and I believe you.
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Last year I watched as most of the people I knew geared up in some way for the first day of school. Last year I met friends in their new on campus apartment. Last year I watched as mothers posted back to school pictures and students posted about homework. Last year, for the first time in over fifteen years, I was not going to the first day of school.
For a while this realization disturbed me. Common complaints, classic traditions, and I was left out of the academic liturgy. I had good reason for not returning to school (contractions and midterms do not mix...), but that didn't comfort me as I left something safe and headed into unknown territory. As scary as it was, my first year without school brought me great perspective and great growth. I was able to step back and see a part of the puzzle that's been completed, along with quite a number of unfinished bits. I was able to enjoy time with my friends and not worry about shortening the visit so that I could get back to my homework. I was able to experience the flow of creativity in my spare time and channel it into things I wanted to do. It was difficult, but everything that's good for you is. Now, I sit here about to take on my first university class in a year. I'm excited and a bit afraid, but I am not nervous or self-conscious. I am afraid because I am trying something new. I am excited because I am trying something new. Even though I feel this way, I am not afraid of embarrassing myself or disappointing myself, because the greatest thing I learned in my time off, is how to define myself in the Creator. I know who I am, and I know who made me and holds me in His hands. For the first time I feel prepared to be myself without care for what other people think of me. So it truly is a day of firsts. |
Jordan is...A mother, artist, designer and loyal friend. May this blog bring you hope and a normalization of both emotion and logic. Archives
March 2021
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