First Days

Last year I watched as most of the people I knew geared up in some way for the first day of school. Last year I met friends in their new on campus apartment.  Last year I watched as mothers posted back to school pictures and students posted about homework. Last year, for the first time in over fifteen years, I was not going to the first day of school.
For a while this realization disturbed me. Common complaints, classic traditions, and I was left out of the academic liturgy. I had good reason for not returning to school (contractions and midterms do not mix...), but that didn't comfort me as I left something safe and headed into unknown territory.
As scary as it was, my first year without school brought me great perspective and great growth. I was able to step back and see a part of the puzzle that's been completed, along with quite a number of unfinished bits. I was able to enjoy time with my friends and not worry about shortening the visit so that I could get back to my homework. I was able to experience the flow of creativity in my spare time and channel it into things I wanted to do. It was difficult, but everything that's good for you is.
Now, I sit here about to take on my first university class in a year. I'm excited and a bit afraid, but I am not nervous or self-conscious. I am afraid because I am trying something new. I am excited because I am trying something new. Even though I feel this way, I am not afraid of embarrassing myself or disappointing myself, because the greatest thing I learned in my time off, is how to define myself in the Creator. I know who I am, and I know who made me and holds me in His hands. For the first time I feel prepared to be myself without care for what other people think of me.
So it truly is a day of firsts.